Why I donated

 

stay

I am a selfish person. I can’t really think of a time I’ve donated anything other than my old shoes, and of course my time and talents and 10 percent of all my income to my church — OK, fine, I guess this makes me look like a pretty good guy — but to be fair, I’m so bad at my religion that paying 10 percent of a poor man’s wages is actually the part I can do most easily.

Any other donating I’ve done, like old t-shirts that just keep getting smaller — seriously what is the deal with the t-shirt industry? Can’t we make shirts that just stay one size from age 25 to 35? What’s with all the fluctuation (I take another bite of this chorizo breakfast burrito)? — but I don’t really think so much about how donating my old shoes is going to keep some old bum’s bunions out of the rain or anything. It just clears up room in my closet. And I don’t donate blood. I don’t like blood or the part where they jab you with needles and suck out the stuff that’s supposedly keeping you alive.

However, I did just donate $5 to the STAYWARD campaign*, a campaign to put up a billboard that shows appreciation for Gordon Hayward with the hopes that might affect his decision to re-sign with the Utah Jazz next season. I really didn’t donate my $5 — oh that reminds me I actually donated a lot of money to Evan McMullin for President, which should probably make me look like an even better guy now that we’ve seen what a Trump presidency looks like (please don’t @ me with anti-third party replies). I also donated to a funeral here or there and one of my old student’s play and Kate Kelly’s laptop (just kidding). But as I was saying, I didn’t donate my $5 to the billboard with the hope of warming Hayward’s heart.

I donated out of guilt. I moved from California to Utah as an 11-year-old kid. When the Utah Jazz were in the NBA Finals with the Chicago Bulls in ’97 and ’98, I was still cheering for Michael Jordan — California basketball fans are really no different today; they’ll back the Shanghai Sharks if they’re playing well enough. I think back to that time (somewhat presented here) and can’t help but feel a tinge of guilt, like maybe if I had joined the rest of the Utah kids with bad haircuts cheering on the Jazz, had gotten swept up in Jazz Fever, who knows, maybe the universe would have taken note and instead of Jordan pushing off, maybe he slips or twists an ankle.

So anyway, here we are. The Utah Jazz are back in the playoffs for the first time since 2012 when they got swept by the San Antonio Spurs. And there’s actually a feeling that the Jazz could actually pick up a couple of wins. Maybe if I add my measly $5, it doesn’t necessarily mean a trip to the Finals, but maybe I can clear my name. Maybe I can shake that feeling of guilt. It’s a selfish move.

*The campaign has successfully raised its proposed $5,000 goal. Hayward, aware of the campaign asked instead for people to donate to a friend’s fundraiser for cancer research. Garrett Jones, the STAYWARD campaign manager has stated that all excess funds from his own campaign will be redirected there.

The billboard has created a lot of buzz and a handful of good Photoshops, by good, I mean mostly mine.

And yes, there is now seriously a Don’t Go Joe campaign for Joe Ingles currently at $10 of the proposed $5K, which I’m sure does not reflect on Joe Ingles. I personally love the man.

 

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